Edward in a Realer World
by psejhan
Summary: Edward storms off into the real world and meets Eric Northman and Damon Salvatore and makes a horrifying discovery about Carlisle.


Part 1

Eric Northman was enthralling the vermin when a particular vampire entered Fangtasia who looked like a potential public nuisance. The vampire looked back at him, looking entranced and bewildered.

Edward Cullen had left the household feeling down because his 1-year old only daughter had eloped with the werewolf. Bella was staring out the window, soulless, and numb like how she was when Edward had left her for her "safety".

Edward wound up running at the speed of light to Shreveport, Louisiana and found a peculiar bar, neon lights flashing "Fangtasia" to which he sniggered.

He found out that it was a vampire bar, which was very weird and haunting because he felt that it meant very dangerous company of vampires who actually fed on humans. Then, after scanning the whole place, he found the center of attention who was sitting on what seemed to be like a throne. He was beautiful and his mind was unreadable. Edward was confused, and so was his bloodless penis, because the last time he couldn't read someone's mind he wanted to both eat and fuck. He couldn't eat this guy because he was a vampire but he wondered if he could fuck him since he seemed to emanate machismo, excitement, sexuality and danger which were the complete opposite characteristics of his wife. What made him even more engrossed with the man on the throne was that he was looking back.

Eric saw that the strange young vampire was nearing him and he was intrigued.

"I am Edward Cullen, you may have heard of my sire Carlisle?" Edward opened when he was in front of Eric.

"Oh, so that's why you looked so… peculiar. You're one of Carlisle's lab rats who eat endangered animals." Eric felt that the intriguing quality that was once Edward's had just flew out the window. Anyway, he was a young vampire with a form and face that brooded like some gender confused human being too much. Eric's eyes left Edward's golden ones and continued his earlier pursuit, enthralling the vermin.

"Uhm… You are?"

"Pardon?" Eric was a bit insulted, the vermin assuming that he was obligated to submit to the social norm of introducing himself as well. Then again, it was pretty assuming, so he was going to kick him around with verbal attacks.

"My name is Edward and you are?" Edward even had his hand waiting in the air for a shake.

"Eric Northman, Sheriff. Now, why are you disturbing me… child."

"I can't read your mind."

"Of course you can't, even my lover can't."

"You have a lover?" He was feeling jealous, but then again he can always go for a one night stand.

Eric just looked at the nosy vampire, trying to dismiss his assumption that he could just ask him questions casually.

"I read minds Mr. Northman."

"Oh, I've never heard of a fairy vampire before. Interesting..." The interest came back.

"Fairy?"

"Yes, fairies—they're the only ones who read minds."

"But I'm not a fairy, I'm a vampire."

"Oh, wait! Carlisle! I remember him more clearly now. He told me he genetically modified some of his children. I hear you can also walk in the sun?"

"Yes, but what do you mean genetically modified?"

"You mean Carlisle's never told you why you sparkled?"

Then Edward ran away, tears in his eyes.

Part 2

Sunrise was nearing and Edward couldn't be in the sun and left to sparkle for the world to know. It's not that people don't know that vampires existed, because Tru Blood existed, he was just feeling very embarrassed about his being a monster disco ball.

He found himself in Mystic Falls, Virginia where a man, dressed in all Black Armani stopped him in his tracks while he was trying to find a motel as he made a makeshift hood with his jacket.

He was turned on because apparently he couldn't read the gentleman's mind either.

"Hey, pal, you look familiar," the man said and took his hand, which Edward found to be romantic until the stranger flashed his hand with sunlight.

"Cool. Does Carlisle know that he could always just look for the Elusive Lapis Lazuli instead of genetically modifying his kids into freaks?"

His voice was breaking with emotion but he struggled to ask, "Who are you and why do you have to make fun of me?"

"Damon Salvatore, Mystic Fall's most eligible bachelor." He winked. "And by the way, I read about you too and what do I have to say, you are so whipped."

Edward was more than offended and ran away so fast he looked like a breeze of glitter to passers by.

Stefan was brooding in his own little corner in the bar when a man making a makeshift hoodie out of his jacket came in. He was like him. Stefan listened in closely, and was sure that the strange man also didn't have a heartbeat so he must be a vampire. Also, the stranger seemed to enjoy to brood, just like him. Also, when he sniffed, he smelled Squirrel, the same diet as his. He was very intrigued by what seemed to be a fan.

Edward couldn't read the vampire in the corner's mind but had enough of impenetrable minds for the day. It's caused him so much sexual frustration and embarrassment that all he really wanted to do was to hide under a rock or pretend to drink alcohol but he didn't like alcohol, not even when he was human. So Edward left the bar.

Stefan followed his "fan" out the bar but he was too late when a wave of glitter fluttered in the distance. So it wasn't a fan, it was just one of Carlisle's freaks. Too bad.

Edward had run all the way back to Forks. He went back into his own little world with Bella, in their cabin in the woods. He sat beside Bella, who was in the 35th hour of her downtime, and began to do it with her.

Then the phone rang and they raced toward it but Bella got it first and Edward could only push his ear on the other side of the phone intent on giving Bella absolutely no privacy.

"Hello," she sobbed.

"Mommy," It was Renesme, crying. "J-j-Jacob… h-he tried to shove big fish into me, mommy. Come and get me m-mommy. J-Jacob is in the bathroom, h-he is crying too… mommy... I was so scared. Come and get me mommy." The parents' hearts were breaking.

"Where are you dear?"

"I'm in motel in town."

"You mean the motel near Charlie's house?"

"U-huh."


End file.
